What a Little Wine Does to Your Chart

I'm 99.99% sure that this isn't an ovulation spike. I have NO other signs or symptoms - and last night I had a few glasses of wine! LOL!! (Naughty me...I know...) But I had no idea it would do this to my chart! LOL!!!



I'm not really sure what I am going to do. I haven't ovulated this cycle, and I am prepared to write it off and move on. (Thus my frustration and wine-drinking. I drink like once per year.) But to my understanding, the RISE of progesterone makes your temp spike during the second phase of the cycle. Then the falling progesterone levels make AF arrive. So if there is NO progesterone to start with (no ovulation) how does AF arrive?? That's why I never understood anovulatory periods! I don't get it!!!

Anywhoo, I am going on a "life change" again. We don't call it "dieting" because people don't like that. Everyone makes you say "life change." My problem is MOSTLY my sedentary job and lifestyle, and not so much "overeating." I sit on my butt 8am-5pm, then come home and sit on my butt to work on my ever expanding and aging list of blog designs. Despite how far I am behind on my layouts, my health is more important than that. So I am going to the gym every day this week for at least one hour in the evening. This upcoming weekend is the marathon, and I was training for it a few months ago. Then TTC came along and I refused to even MOVE for fear that any exercise would hurt my uterus!!!

Anyway...I'm still gonna temp throughout my cycle....see what happens.

Re-Focusing

I have a feeling I am going to be one of THOSE pregnant ladies. You know...

Me: Honnneeeeeey???

Husband: Yes beautiful?

Me: Can you get me some milk and a piece of cake from the kitchen? :D

Husband: Sure sweetie. *gets cake and milk*

Me: Oh...wait...can I also have some more of that stuff you made for dinner? I'm STARVING still? Just reheat it...

Husband: Okay *scurries along*

Me: Thanks babe. Oh, one more thing.... I am seriously CRAVING chocolate, pickles and ice cream right now.....I need all of the above like STAT. I'm nourishing your child here I need my nutrients!!!

Husband: April, you just got a positive pregnancy test this morning - do you really think the undifferentiated ball of cells needs THAT much nourishment?

Me: *pout*

Needless to say, during my leuteal phase I have SERIOUS cravings. So I can only imagine how much worse it will be when I'm preggo. I read that cravings are highest between your O day and your period naturally, so you can nourish your uterus and all that crap for an impending pregnancy. Well, my body doesn't really have problems with "nourishment" as you can see.

So this is where I need the "re-focus." I have been eating pretty crappy lately...lots of sugar and carbs...honestly scared that "dieting" in the traditional sense will be a bad thing for my cycle. Same thing with exercise. You read so many conflicting ideas on how much or little to workout while TTC.

Enough of that crap. I know what I am supposed to be eating, how much I should be working out, and what I need to do to make myself as healthy as possible. So I am getting back on the wagon.

Today is Cycle day 18. I am BONE dry down there, no CM. I feel really energetic, happy (considering the circumstances), not emotional, my boobs don't hurt, I broke out a little more than normal, and I don't really feel like anything is going to happen "soon." As you can see from my chart in the previous post, I think I TRIED to ovulate and it didn't work. So I am not sure if AF will arrive, if I will try to O again, or if I will need a progesterone shot to induce my period.

What the Aych?

Aych means "H" meaning "Hell." Just in case you're Mormon like me and don't "swear." Anyway, here it is. Cycle day 17. And my body is playing EVIL tricks on me! Take a look at my chart.

So...by the looks of the "dip" in my temperature, and all the eggwhite CM I was having, and YES, even a pretty positive OPK - I have not ovulated. I feel like I am practically DEAD this cycle because my temperatures are SO low.

On Sunday (CD 13) I was walking around Fred Meyer (not shopping of course because again, I'm a Mo and don't do that) I felt some ovulation pains coming from leftie. I was hopeful, only to awake to no temp spike. Maybe God was like "Oh, no. Well, I WAS going to make you O today, but you went shopping on a Sunday. And you even went commando. So sorry."

So I am bitter, and freaked out. And now here we are and I already had a progression of OPK's that went from negative, to almost positive, to negative again.

I hate the waiting game! Hopefully I will O on CD 21!!!! I am BONE dry right now. Just clearish and snap-happy CM. But mostly dry. Wow, I never thought I would discuss my CM outside of the Soul Cysters forum.

Why Keep it a Secret?

So, the more and more I learn about people who are TTC, the more and more I see people trying to keep it a secret.

I admit, at first I was hesitant to tell anyone. What if we were judged by family or friends? What if they thought we weren't ready for a child? What if they were even MORE miffed that we were going through infertility treatments and haven't even graduated college yet. (Well, Hubby hasn't.) What if they thought we were too fat/poor/immature?

So I kept it quiet for awhile. At least the fertility drugs part. Not only did I NOT want to tell people that I was barren - I didn't want them to pass judgement.

But who am I kidding here? If I got pregnant what would I say... "Oh it just happened?" No. I worked my ASS of for this baby and went through a LOT to get her in my uterus!!!

At first I was also going to keep this blog private and invite only certain readers. But why? I have learned SO much from other blogs, and I hope that one day I can finally announce my pregnancy on here, and someone else in the shoes I am in now, can read and see all the steps I had to take to get there. I love reading success stories!

So anyway, I don't want to judge people for keeping their TTC a secret because I know how it feels. But I hate lying and I'd hate lying to my kids or my family about HOW we did it. So I am just letting it all OUT!! WOOT!!

The First Cycle

Well, the first cycle was perfect. I took all my vitamins, ate right, took my temperature, checked my cervical mucus (CM), and my cervix... Every cough, sniffle, twinge, and cramp was documented. I took Clomid on cycle days 5-9, and on CD 18 I finally started to get eggwhite CM! (EWCM). So I began taking ovualtion predictor tests/kits (OPK's) on that day.


In previous years, I NEVER got even a faint line. Well, in order for an OPK to be POSITIVE, the line needs to be darker than the control line. Not just THERE. So while the line was faint, and that was a first, it doesn't mean I was going to O. (Ovulate.)

On CD 20 I felt pain in my left ovary. Actually, I had felt pain in that ovary for over a year. I always thought it was just normal pains associated with my (non-existant) cycle. In March 2009 I even went to see what was wrong with leftie, but Dr. S didn't think I should worry. So when there was quite a bit of pain in leftie that day, I was hopeful that ovulation was about to happen!

BUT - I had a marked amount of pain during sex. It was NOT normal. I tend to have a higher pain tolerance, so it wasn't crippling like everyone says a cyst is. But when I woke up on CD 21 I felt a different, "gassy" kind of pain on my left side. It was throbbing, and literally I figured some gas-X would help. I was worried.

So I called Dr. S to schedule an ultrasound for that day. I had been trying to get an ultrasound for a LONG time, and when I mentioned my pain, he scheduled me right away.

Let me tell you, VAGINAL ultrasounds are highly uncomfortable. You'd think they'd make the stick they have to put in there SMALLER than a giant dildo - but no. Then they swirl it around left and right and push it up against your ovaries...which...in my case...at this point...did NOT feel good.

The ultrasound tech said I had "fluid" behind my uterus. Apparently, the area behind the uterus is the MOST dependent variable. I was like..."Okay, what the heck does that mean?" Well, it means that if there is fluid behind the uterus, you ovulated!

However, there was a LOT behind my uterus. An abnormal amount. That usually means a cyst has ruptured. So talking to the doctor, he thinks that is what may have happened. Thankfully, my ovaries looked completely normal though! Just some undeveloped eggs (follicles/follies) and no cysts.

So I continued to take my temperature, and it SLOWLY rose. I will never know if that cyst contained an egg or not - but I learned that even if a cyst ruptures, my temperature can rise. From my chart you can see that it DID rise...but not by much.

As always, we all think regular leuteal phase symptoms are actually us being pregnant. Well...I was hungry ALL THE TIME!!! And my boobs were killing me! But of course, Aunt Flo (AF) started and onto the next cycle!

In The Beginning...

God created man. But he never mentioned how big of a pain in the ass it would be! I'm sure Eve didn't have these problems. She probably got pregnant the first day she wandered the garden all naked. (Who wouldn't get it preggers if they were the only female on the planet walking around naked in front of a man?)


Anyway, when you're trying to make a baby, it's hard to think about anything else. I married my husband in May 2006. Ever since then I've wanted to start a family. At first we just "weren't preventing", then it progressed to "what the heck is wrong with me?", then by summer 2008 it moved to "okay, it's time for defcon 5."

So here we are. Right in the middle of trying to knock me up. We're past the "excited" point, but not quite to the "I hate this I want to quit and never have sex again" point.

My main problem stems from the fact that I have PCOS. I found out from the Google. He called me up and said "Ma'am, I'm sorry to tell you this...but...according to Wikipedia you show all signs of PCOS." I knew I had it before I went to the doctor in November of 2006 and the doctor told me officially that YES, I have PCOS. (She took one look at me and my symptoms, and despite normal tests still diagnosed me.)

Luckily, weight loss and low carb dieting was the key. Great. Just lose 100lbs and ZAM! You're pregnant! Because we ALL know how easy weight loss is!

My average adult weight was around 210-220lbs. And I've NEVER been thin. I averaged 14-20 from age 13-23. Finally, after dieting to no avail, and taking Metformin, I decided to get the Lap-Band in December 2008.

Today I am 185lbs, and a size 14/16. My periods came back, but were still a little irregular. Everything I have done to lose weight up to this point was for the sole purpose of trying to conceive, so I still wanted to continue to lose weight before we turned to fertility treatments.

But the world doesn't work the way you want it to! I anticipated losing my job soon (because we would be moving) and the thought of not having insurance through doctor appointments and even pregnancy is a NIGHTMARE. So we figured the SOONER the better!!!

June of 2009 I was having a long, light period. So I called my OBGYN (Dr. S) who stuck me in the butt with a shot of progesterone to stop the period I was ON, and start a fresh one.

July 8th, 2009 I started my first cycle I officially consider it my first day of "TTC."

See my timeline for more information!