Monday, October 5, 2009

A Few Thoughts...

Recently I got a comment on this blog that - to say the least - wasn't very nice. It was a bitter stab at me personally for a joke I made. I have since deleted the string of comments and the joke and have had to make "anonymous" comments off limits. I don't EVER do that, but since this blog is about the most sensitive subject in my life to date - I really want to keep it friendly.

I wanted to share a few of my thoughts on some things that were said. Though I've already deleted the comment, and I won't address had me pretty upset. Mostly because it was someone I probably knew well, or who knew me very well (or watches my other blog like a hawk?) and still stayed anonymous when they could have just told me who they were and civilly stated that they were annoyed with my joke. I would have apologized and been nice about it at that point...

Anyway. One of my annoyances was a statment about how I shouldn't be TTC because "I can't even afford 1 tire for my car." Aside from the fact that it was an inaccurate statement - and aside from the fact that Brad and I are doing great financially - I really don't think financial security corrolates with trying to have a baby. That may seem a little stupid, but for me - having a family is a religious choice. I am LDS, and we have a strong belief in growing families and having children. The family is the center of everything we stand for. And I don't think it's necessary to be completely debt free and have savings in order to have a child. I also don't think it's appropriate to PLAN for a child if you have no means of supporting it (i.e. if you PLAN on getting WIC, or something.) If being financially secure was the only way to have children, no one would ever have a family because who is REALLY financially secure these days? You don't have to be "rich" to have children - and the happiest families I know get by day to day working as hard as they can and living frugally. Brad and I will have a very comfortable future, so I'm not worried. But I really don't believe in waiting until you are "rich" to try and have a family.

The other thing that bothered me was a statement about how I don't appreciate my job, and how I screw around at work all the time. I just had to laugh. Who hasn't read a blog or Facebooked at their desk job? I get two 15 minute breaks per day that I never take - so add it up and that's probably how much time I spend "screwing around" - if that. But honestly, the only reason I keep my position is for the experience and the insurance. The pay is embarassing, especially for someone with two college degrees. If I could work FULL time on blog designs I'd make twice as much!

Lastly...I'm a little freaked out about how much this person remembered about me and my blog posts. I guess I sort of assume that people skim through my blog once a week, rather than read every detail. She remembered more than I did about my own life!!! But she did bring up a good point - what if someone Google's me? I should be a little more careful about what I say!

If the signature saying "Loyally in EP" rings true - I'm sad that I probably know who it is :( Oh well.


  1. creepy. I'm not gonna lie. I hate when people hide behind their computer thinking they can say whatever they want when in real life they are to much of a wuss to ever say it to your face. Sorry.
    I'm LDS too! who knew?!

  2. eek girl. i am so sorry about this craziness!!

  3. Because everyone and their mom has a blog nowadays, I think there's a major thing that people don't remember about them.

    They're That. Person's. Blog. For them do with as they please. If someone reading doesn't agree or doesn't like what's being said, see that little X in the upper corner? Who's stopping you from clicking on it?

    Good for you for deleting the negativity and then giving us your thoughts on it. I hope people will be grown up next time and remember what Mom would say ("If you don't have anything nice to say...") and stop criticizing someone for expressing themselves and their thoughts.

  4. I have some pointy shoes somewhere in my closet. And I am NOT afraid to use them. I believe you already know this about me but I can't remember. I should ask Ms. Negativity Poo Poo Head...

    Some people just thrive on poking and prodding and stirring and stewing. Can you imagine what it would be like to be that person? Can you imagine how little beauty that person will ever take the time to notice? It's sad, really.

    I'm so sorry it The Incident got deep enough under your skin to waste a few hours out of your life. I hope that the love you feel from the rest of us that skim or memorize, comment or don't, agree with a "high five sista!" or disagree politely, sustains you to and makes it worth your while to continue to share YOU with US.

    By the way, Luv the new layout ;)

  5. Yep. what they all said. I'll kick some ass. I'm overdue.

    And yeah, it's your blog. So say whatever the hell you want. Stupid people.

    I'm also freaked out by someone basically "stalking" you, but more than that, a little peeved to know that they have to hide behind a computer screen. That doesn't make you better. At all.

    Keep doing what you do. I love your blogs.. BOTH OF THEM...and you're freaking awesome.

    end. of. story.=)

  6. I hate when people are mean. And I hate that she claimed to be anonymous to avoid a fight. If she really wanted to avoid a fight she could have kept her opinions to herself or approached you kindly and calmly via email instead. Just my opinion.

  7. K 1. that person is a jerk... I had to stop anonymous comments on my blog too... but for a different reason... infertile people were getting mad at me because I was talking about things like "push presents." I dunno.. I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and if you don't agree with em, at least have the balls to put your name to it.

    Sorry you had to experience that though, that stinks!

    I'm LDS too (which you probably know) and I think people should be responsible when having children, but I don't think there's a set "amount" you should have saved or whatever. But either way... It's no one's business how much money you're making, saving, etc. Or when you have kids (same with people telling you to hurry up and do it because God says 'multiply and replenish the earth' yada yada.)

    While I'm waiting for my baby to get here though I'm TRYING to think of the positive, and things to help the time go by faster/ make the best of it.

    Re: Your post below, I don't think people who try to give you advice are trying to be mean or hurt your feelings, I think they just don't know what to say, and they're trying to offer SOME kind of help.

    Personally, I ask for it... And even though I've been told to CALM DOWN for the BAJILLIONITH time... I still smile and say "thank you" cause I know they're only trying to help! :)

  8. oh after i read this, i had to seriously go get a glass of wine and take a deep breath before sitting down to leave a comment.
    So trust me when I say this is as nice as I can be right now...
    ANY PERSON who leaves THOSE KINDS of shitty comments on a blog of someone going thru the NIGHTMARE that you are going thru not being able to conceive is a HORRIBLE chicken shit pathetic person!

    I cleaned it up for you, I promise I did. As long as I have been blogging and as long as I have been on this fertility roller coaster (7 years)... I have seen some horrible comments both in person and on blogs and received some horrible emails and so on and so on. And I have stopped talked to some members of my not so immediate family because of inconsiderate rude things they have said about my quest for a family. Those people have no right. No right at all. Until you have gone through this and until you know how it feels, you have NO right to judge. It makes me cry to know that people have said that on your blog. It breaks my heart.

    Ugh I am rambling, sorry but OH MY WORD!!!! It just makes me soooooooooooooo mad!!!!!!!

    Monday, after my D&C, I called my Mom to let her know that I was home and that I was ok. We have a bad relationship and talk rarely as you probably know from my blog. She asked if we were going to try again and I said of course that we would be trying again in January. Her response was "I don't understand why you would go through spending another $4500 on something that probably won't work anyway... It seems to me like you need to just learn to appreciate what you already have"
    It literally made me vomit. Thank you Mom for saying something so god awful just hours after I lost my 10 week pregnancy. Kudos to you Mom for making me feel even more broken as a woman that I did an hour ago.

    *sigh* :(

  9. That is so creepy and they had no right to say those things. I am a stay at home mom and my Hubby doesnt make a lot of money, yet were staying afloat, plus Cole gets me at home. A lot of people give me crap for nor helping financially, but I ignore it. I am very religious and believe in raising a family.
    Take care


Thanks so much for your support!