It's nice when family and friends who aren't TTC attempt to console you as you're trying to get pregnant. But here are the worst things you can possibly say to an infertile woman...
You can always adopt!
Gee, you think? That'll make me feel better about my uterus being completely barren. Basically you're saying "there's no hope..."
I'll be your surrogate!
Or you could just slap me in the face and scream "I know I'm fertile and you're NOT! HAHA!"
Don't worry, it will happen when you stop trying.
Just because it happened to YOU by accident, doesn't mean it will for me.
Just relax! Don't stress or it won't happen!
Okay, so all the stressed out people of the world are just practicing good birth control?
Have you tried In-Vitro Fertilization?
Well, I was looking for a way to spend that extra $10,000 I had laying around. Thanks for the idea! This is yet another last ditch effort, before adoption.
Just enjoy the time you have with each other now!
I've been "enjoying" our time together for 6 years. I'm ready to mix it up a little.
At least you can go on vacations, to the movies, etc... without a babysitter!
Sure - I'd love to leave a legacy of movie watching and vacations behind after I die.
Oh just wait, you'll be in labor/wiping poopy butts and think twice about wanting a baby!
No way! Dangit...I thought babies were all sunshine and kisses. I guess all my fertility treatments were for nothing because I don't want to have to change a diaper or go into labor. Ugh. I had NO clue that I was in store for that sort of responsibility and pain. Thanks for warning me.
Have you tried (insert random Chinese herbal remedy/Kama Sutra position here)?
No. I did not try the Downward Facing Dog while having sex and drinking tea infused with cloves and raspberries and rubbing EVOO over my body while massaging my uterus and humming. I know everyone else on the planet probably has to do that in order to get pregnant, but I'll pass.
And one of the worst things people do is NOT telling you when someone is pregnant, or someone is having a baby shower because they think you'll turn into Godzilla. I might THINK about breathing fire into their fertile faces, but I still want an excuse to talk, think, and shop everything BABY!